‘Would you allow your two Grey parrots to take part in a film demonstrating their intelligence?’  I needed no persuasion to reply yes.  Cameraman and young director duly arrived.  Would the two Greys show off their skills to camera?  You can guess the answer.  They can speak, dance, wave, fly to perch and back and perform other behaviours on cue.

I’d given Artha and Casper their full breakfast that morning and pleased as they were to meet the friendly, young TV people, neither bird had the faintest interest or intenton in showing off.  After several hours, just before the crew left, Artha condescended to open a biscuit tin and extract a biscuit; Casper emerged from a zip bag on my lap. These two shots, lasting a few seconds, start the programme.

In spite of their unwillingness to perform on demand, Artha and Casper are a constant delight.  When she first arrived, Artha was intended to live in a 2-metre high King cage and later on share that space with Casper.  Over the course of time, both birds have insinuated themselves into most rooms in our bungalow.

Define a bird lover?  Your friends, family and even business colleagues will divide into sheep and goats.  Sheep say that free range parrots are a dangerous abomination indoors.  Goats find them amusing even entertaining.  Maybe one goat exists for every twenty sheep.

The conservatory, specially built for the parrots, became the bird room.  Through trial and error, I discovered which plants are busy-beak proof like bamboo,  palms and jasmine.  Bare, clean branches stretched across the ceiling make a canopy where the birds can hide and have private conversations.

Artha(9) and Casper(7) are of mating age.  Will they ever become a bonded pair Opinions are divided as to whether hand-reared birds mate readily with their own species rather than fall in love with humans.  Stephen Fry the actor came to interview me and my husband about a programme on manic depression.  In a lull of the interview, he began reading Goethe’s poem in German.  Artha, bewitched by his honey-dripping voice, Artha crouched in front of him, trembling, fluttering her semi-open wings and moaning softly.  ‘What’s she up to?’ asked Stephen.  ‘If you don't know I’d rather not tell you,’ I replied.

Casper’s first sexual encounter was even more unlucky.  Perched beside Artha on top of the shower rail, while I enjoyed a luxurious bath below, he was indulging in behaviour that had he been a boy rather than an adolescent parrot, you’d have had to call teenage sex play.  Engrossed in my magazine, I suddenly felt something bump against my toes, a drowning grey parrot.  Dried off, he recovered completely but hasn’t repeated the experience and that was three years ago.

Because of the excellent handling they received at their breeder’s.  Artha and Casper came here as fully socialized birds.  Both knew the step up.  Both had been discouraged from nipping by having their heads gently blown on.  I enjoy having the parrots loose indoors when I’m alone with my husband Wal or with parrot-loving friends.  There are drawbacks to this that entail major lifestyle changes.  You have got to be tidy!  If you aren’t, anything lying around will be investigated and if possible taken to bits.  Let me confess the worst incident of this, worse than mobile phones, decimated flower arrangements, keyboards or pens.  Casper was behaving quietly.  I had folded clothes and shut the bathroom cabinet (but not latched it).  I got out of the bath to find the inquisitive bird had opened the cabinet, removed my hearing aids and demolished the left ear instrument into minute pieces, too small to pick up.  (Believe it or not the insurance paid for the replacement.)

In the wild though their lives may be shorter and more dangerous, the parrots’ life is full of variety and interest.  I try to recreate some of this for Artha and Casper.  Their breeder had already accustomed them to wearing a harness and so they can be taken for walks to parks, shops, pubs.  A word of warning: fasten the end of the leash securely to your wrist.  The bird can startle and fly off trailing the leash.  Artha at 14 weeks, left my shoulder and ended up 50 metres up a tree and did not have enough experience to fly down.  The Fire Service, bless them, rescued her.

It can cause some astonishment for passers-by to see a pair Red-tailed Greys on my shoulders.  To the question, ‘Are they real?’ I’m afraid I’ll answer, ‘No, they’re electric.’